We’ve all felt it.
That moment when you want to walk away from the half-made dinner and the filthy children in need of a bath to enjoy an activity you used to do before you had kids.
Maybe you want to sit on the deck with a glass of wine and watch the sunset.
Perhaps you’d prefer to go hang-gliding.
Or it could be that you’ve got a hankering for a night out on the town.
As a mum, most of the time we never get to act on that craving, leaving you feeling deflated.
I have those moments often, most of the time it’s while I’m folding the washing!
I want to take off and do something crazy, something that makes me feel alive. But with three little girls, I rarely feel like I can.
It’s even worse when you’ve been offered that activity you desperately want to do but you turn it down. You feel selfish taking that time for yourself.
I had this very experience recently when I was offered the opportunity to climb a massive tree using safety gear. I know that’s a random scenario for most of you, stick with me here, it’s the feelings that counts.
The energy began thrumming through my body. My head was going a million miles an hour. I really wanted to try it.
Did I do it?
I’ll tell you shortly.
The point is, we reach this moment when we’re really excited and then, almost in an instant, we talk ourselves out of it.
Here how to push through the excuses
While your parental duties may sometimes prevent you from taking advantage of those spontaneous feelings at the moment they occur, you can still make an effort to enjoy activities that fill your bucket.
Get over the Guilt.
Put aside the guilt. Don’t we eat ourselves up enough? It’s okay to take time for yourself.
I know that I’m a better mother when I do.
Make a list.
Write a list of experiences that will make you happy. Keep your list in an area where you’ll see it every day.
Writing it down and booking it in means you’re more likely to do it.
Take your kids.
If appropriate, let your kids come along to watch or join in the experience with you.
Just do it. Rely on your first gut instinct and leave the other thoughts behind. Try to do an activity once a week or, at the very least, once a month if time is tight.
And when someone asks you if you want to climb a massive tree, arborist-style, say a big, loud YES!
I did say that I wanted to do something crazy!
I want my girls to grow up knowing that I’m a whole person.
I’m their mother but I’m also a nature enthusiast, blogger, wildlife education officer, a wife, a daughter, a sister and a big tree climber!
Yes, I’ll still have to tackle that endless mountain of washing when I come home again but at least I know there’s someone inside who doesn’t hold back from following her dreams.
The next time I’m offered a similar experience, I won’t hesitate!
What are some activities that help you find yourself?
Good for you! Yes, that mommy guilt creeps up all to often. Thank you for the reminder to be ourselves 🙂
Penny Whitehouse says
Channon, I think we’ll always be fighting that guilt. I can only hope I’ll go back and read this when I get that feeling of wanting to burst again. It’s something I’ll need to work on. It’s just so easy to go back to thinking about everyone around you except yourself.
I know, me too 🙂
So inspiring! Well done!
Penny Whitehouse says
Thanks Christina. Let me know if you decide to do something wild too. I’d love to be inspired by others taking time for themselves. Thinking of ourselves when we become a mum is something we’ll always have to work at. It’s so easy to go back to the mind frame of thinking about everyone else’s happiness first.
Love this post so much ♥
Parenting Pod says
Being a mother is the most toughest job ever. Some people rather go out and work in an office they cannot afford to stay home and look after their family. But even though its hard to become a mom when you see your family healthy and happy no great rewards can ever replace that.
I went for a kayak when my little guy was.. 8mos or something?? It was a bit stressful because I was still breastfeeding him on demand and worried I would be gone too long and he would be upset for his Dad.
The kayak trip took 3 Hours and I got to try Stand up paddleboarding too and it was so fun!!
Think it was a little stressful on my husband probably his first time having both kids without me reachable but I was so glad I went and I now want to go again when I can! Thanks for the inspiration!
Your tree climb looks super fun Penny! I love your nature loving life!
Penny Whitehouse says
Thanks Anna, I am so thrilled you pushed through those boundaries so early with your little one. I think the early times can be the hardest because they’re just so little and vulnerable. Well done.
It’s stand up paddle boarding fun! I tried it on a recently holiday. It’s so relaxing once you figure out how to not fall off. 😉