Motherhood: find yourself and find happiness again

We’ve all felt it.

That moment when you want to walk away from the half-made dinner and the filthy children in need of a bath to enjoy an activity you used to do before you had kids.

Maybe you want to sit on the deck with a glass of wine and watch the sunset.

Perhaps you’d prefer to go hang-gliding.

Or it could be that you’ve got a hankering for a night out on the town.

As a mum, most of the time we never get to act on that craving, leaving you feeling deflated.

Even depressed.

I have those moments often, most of the time it’s while I’m folding the washing!

I want to take off and do something crazy, something that makes me feel alive. But with three little girls, I rarely feel like I can.

It’s even worse when you’ve been offered that activity you desperately want to do but you turn it down. You feel selfish taking that time for yourself.

I had this very experience recently when I was offered the opportunity to climb a massive tree using safety gear. I know that’s a random scenario for most of you, stick with me here, it’s the feelings that counts.

The energy began thrumming through my body. My head was going a million miles an hour. I really wanted to try it.

Then, excuses.

Did I do it?

I’ll tell you shortly.

The point is, we reach this moment when we’re really excited and then, almost in an instant, we talk ourselves out of it.

Here how to push through the excuses

While your parental duties may sometimes prevent you from taking advantage of those spontaneous feelings at the moment they occur, you can still make an effort to enjoy activities that fill your bucket.

Get over the Guilt.

Put aside the guilt. Don’t we eat ourselves up enough? It’s okay to take time for yourself.

I know that I’m a better mother when I do.

Make a list.

Write a list of experiences that will make you happy. Keep your list in an area where you’ll see it every day.
Writing it down and booking it in means you’re more likely to do it.

Take your kids.

If appropriate, let your kids come along to watch or join in the experience with you.

Do it.

Just do it. Rely on your first gut instinct and leave the other thoughts behind. Try to do an activity once a week or, at the very least, once a month if time is tight.

And when someone asks you if you want to climb a massive tree, arborist-style, say a big, loud YES!

I did say that I wanted to do something crazy!

I want my girls to grow up knowing that I’m a whole person.

I’m their mother but I’m also a nature enthusiast, blogger, wildlife education officer, a wife, a daughter, a sister and a big tree climber!

Yes, I’ll still have to tackle that endless mountain of washing when I come home again but at least I know there’s someone inside who doesn’t hold back from following her dreams.

The next time I’m offered a similar experience, I won’t hesitate!

What are some activities that help you find yourself?